Короткое описание: Two exploratory ships are going to Mars to start up the NASA project of creating green areas on its surface. The project doesn't reach its ending for an mysterious reason. This is only a quick start. I would like to know if it's worth continuing. It turned out to be really difficult for me to keep one tense. Help me with that, please?
Chapter 0
...crackle...
"This is Michael Prokopchuk...".
...crackle...
"Today is frida...".
...crackle...
"ninth of October, two thousand thirty sev..."
...crackle...
"I'm making this video to warn you about possible invasion...".
...crackle...
"This video's being made from the machinery...".
...crackle...
"...om in the station NS-256..."
...crackle...
"I think I am safe here... But... Though I've blocked every entran..."
...crackle...
"I'm not sure about their strength... One day they're gonna burst in anyway..."
...crackle...
"They... Something has got...".
...crackle...
"...nto the station!", - Prokopchuk sighed pretty hard. Then again. Suddenly he burst into coughing with his hand clinging on the chest. It took him 10 seconds to start talking again. Doctor's palm, backlit by red alert light, was slightly bleeding. There was no obvious injury though.
"Here...", - Michael showed it to the camera. "...they did something to me... Some..."
...crackle...
"Some... Creature... Very-very fast...", - his hard breath was trying to prevent him from talking.
"Something looking like a spider", - he moved on, convulsively gesticulating. You could see huge drops of sweat all over his white-green coloured face.
"It jumped on my face and put...", - he pointed his throat with a shivering forefinger.
...crackle...
"...put something inside of me...", - shiny tears came in sight all over his eyes. "I was trying to escape from... Something... Something bigger... Something black... With big spikes...", - said the doctor whimpering.
"All the crew is dead... Everyone..."
...crackle...
"Don't come here! Never-ever again!!!".
...crackle...
"Either way you'll die! I beg you! Don't... Never...".
Michael Prokopchuk's crying was interfered by a loud metal creak in distance.
"Oh, no!..", - he leaned towards the camera, and doctor's terrified face spread all over the screen.
...crackle...
"...ey're coming!!! I'm sorry... Sorry for the project... I'm sorry for the mone..."
...crackle...
"...and, I love you, son! Good Bye!", - said the doctor, nervously nodding, accompanied by a frequent clatter of claws.
After Michael Prokopchuk turned off the camera, he typed in: "Deliver to exploratory ship "Cannergeil 2"" on the keyboard below.
Chapter 1
The Project
Three weeks before...
*****
I was having a meal in the dining room, when a huge speaker above me asked mr. Delacroix to come to the laboratory A6. I overslept today and came to breakfast about an hour later. The room was empty. All the metal tables seemed clean and shiny. They have been always irritating me with its cold and the opposite for coziness.
A loud echo of my chewing I could sometimes hear in the empty dining room had been always giving me a tearing feeling of loneliness. Like I am the only one on the ship. And no one else. Just me and EG-160, the main computer. Like everything was being done by the machine. Speed control, temperature settings, direction. All of it. And I am a VIP passenger. Except the fact it was not a cruise liner, but an exploratory ship. "Cannergeil 1". It had been called after its constructor Jesse Cannergeil, who had constructed two ships a couple of years ago. It was their first cruise though. The prefix "1" meant I was having a bite on board of the first one. The other one was following us in a week from the same station on Earth.
When I finished my lasagna, I decided to go and check up a basketball hall right a deck bellow. After putting my dirt dish into a washing machine, I left the room and headed towards the Sports Section.
My feet were facing the glossy metal floor, painted like stone bricks, while my head was full of weird thoughts. From time to time I had to greet my father's colleagues, dressed up in white coats. Everyone was as always in a hurry. Running hither and thither, talking science language to each other, exchanging some PPC data. PPC was a small computer with huge efficiency for its size. It had been in use for about ten years already and it had replaced all the paperwork, scientists used to do before. The name of it could be decrypted as "Pocket Personal Computer".
Everyone knew me, 'cause I was one of five kids on the board. All of them had no one to stay with on Earth. That is why we are all here.
*****
As soon as my father got the Nobel Prize in the field of botany, he was hired by NASA to take part in some project, connected with constructing green areas on Mars. My folk signed a contract, according to which he had to move to one of the exploratory stations, located on the planet, for some time. Half a year, maybe more. Tears of happiness were running over his face while signing that contract. It had always been the dream of his life to take part in a NASA project.
In his forty six he looked quite young for this age. Everyone who met my father, thought he is forty or even less. He was also quite good looking. He was alone though. After my mother's death seven years ago, he could not even think about seeing other women. And I'd really like to have a mother.
Рассказ начинается с того, что некий Михаил Прокопчук надиктовывает на видеокамеру сообщение о том, что на космостанции все погибли, что на них напало нечто, похожее на паука, что ли...То ли этот паук что-то отложил в Михаила, то ли просто его напугал, но Михаил четко говорит - не прилетайте сюда, вы все умрете. Да, сообщение прерывается постоянным треском, причем треск такой, надо отдать должное автору, очень последовательный и продолжается на протяжении долгого времени. Потом начинается первая глава, за три недели ДО...я так понимаю, до инцидента. Повествование сбивается на первое лицо, рассказчиком является сын какого-то ученого, быть может того самого Михаила.Он рассказывает нам о своем пребывании на поисковом корабле, который называется так же, как и сам рассказ. В общем - пока в первой главе не было ничего интересного, чувак бродил по станции, ел, играл в баскетбол(кажется), вспоминал о том, как его отец заключил контракт с НАСА, как получил Нобелевскую премию. Но в общем - все это перекликается с Деад Спейс и Чужими.Это если брать самое известное. Конечно же таких сюжетов(пока я говорю только о начале) - множество. Что будет дальше мне неизвестно, но удовлетворения от чтения я не получил, увы. Русский язык куда богаче и сочнее. ЗАчем писать на инглише, я не понимаю, право слово.Если только готовиться покорять западные издательства) Удачи в дальнейших.
Ох, ни фига себе в Кременчуге какие познания английского произрастают... Респект, шо тут скажешь) Мне и на украинском трудно писать, а тут... Абзацы можно подредактировать, а то действительно главы сливаются в одно... Ну, а так - главы какие-то слишком небольшие. "В свои сорок шесть он выглядел молодо.... на сорок или даже меньше..." Вы молоды, чтобы осознать, но разница между 46 и 40 - не так уж велика, чтобы сказываться на внешнем виде. Если бы в свои 56 он выглядел на 40 - это было бы уже молодо) Слишком, как мне показалось, много повторений - Михаил Прокопчук. Ну, и вообще... Английский - это хорошо, но должен быть какой-то эдакий сюжетец. Чтоб зацепило. Пока не цепляет....
Просто это всего лишь небольшой кусочек. Я еще по окончании первой главы закину. А с временами не поможете? Как-то трудновато придерживаться одного времени. Чего я не ожидал.
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