Короткое описание: Two exploratory ships are going to Mars to start up the NASA project of creating green areas on its surface. The project doesn't reach its ending for an mysterious reason. This is only a quick start. I would like to know if it's worth continuing.
Chapter 0
...crackle... "This is Michael Prokopchuk...". ...crackle... "Today is frida...". ...crackle... "ninth of October, two thousand thirty sev..." ...crackle... "I'm making this video to warn you about possible invasion...". ...crackle... "This video's being made from the machinery...". ...crackle... "...om in the station NS-256..." ...crackle... "They... Something has got...". ...crackle... "...nto the station!", - Prokopchuk sighed pretty hard. Then again. Suddenly he burst into coughing with his hand clinging on the chest. It took him 10 seconds to start talking again. Doctor's palm, backlit by red alert light, was slightly bleeding. There was no obvious injury though. "Here...", - Michael showed it to the camera. "...they did something to me... Some..." ...crackle... "Some... Creature... Very-very fast...", - his hard breath was trying to prevent him from talking. "Something looking like a spider", - he moved on, convulsively gesticulating. You could see huge drops of sweat all over his white-green coloured face. "It jumped on my face and put...", - he pointed his throat with a shivering forefinger. ...crackle... "...put something inside of me...", - shiny tears came in sight all over his eyes. "I was trying to escape from... Something... Something bigger... Something black... Their spikes...", - said the doctor whimpering. "All the crew is dead... Everyone..." ...crackle... "I think I am safe here... But... Though I've blocked every entran..." ...crackle... "I'm not sure if they're able to...", - a strong cough again. "Sometime they're gonna burst in anyway..." ...crackle... "Don't come here! Never-ever again!!!". ...crackle... "Either way you'll die! I beg you! Don't... Never... Go back...". Prokopchuk's crying was interfered by a loud metal creak in distance. "Oh, no!..", - he leaned towards the camera, and doctor's terrified face spread all over the screen. ...crackle... "...ey're coming!!! I'm sorry... Sorry for the project... I'm sorry for the mone..." ...crackle... "...and, I love you, son! Good Bye!", - said the doctor, nervously nodding, accompanied by a frequent clatter of claws. After the camera was off, he typed in: "Deliver to exploratory ship "Cannergeil 2"" on the keyboard below.
Chapter 1 The Project Three weeks before...
***** I was having a meal in the staff dining room, when a huge speaker above me asked mr. Delacroix to come to the laboratory A6. I overslept today and came to breakfast about an hour later. The room was empty. All the metal tables seemed clean and shiny. They have been always irritating me with its cold and the opposite for coziness. A loud echo of my chewing I can sometimes hear while having a meal has been always giving me a tearing feeling of loneliness. Like I am the only one on this ship. And no one else. Just me and EG-160, the main computer. Like everything is being done by the machine. Speed control, temperature settings, direction. All of it. And I am a VIP passenger. Except the fact it is not a cruise liner, but an exploratory ship. "Cannergeil 1". It was called after its constructor Jesse Cannergeil, who constructed two similar ships a couple of years ago. It is their first trip though. It was being upgraded and refined for about sixteen months. The engineers tried to reach the so called ideal of shipbuilding. I am not sure about the ideal, but it is definitely the best space ship ever constructed. The prefix "1" in its name meant I was having a bite on the board of the first one. The other one was following us in a week from the same station on Earth. When I finished my lasagna, I decided to go and check up a basketball hall right a deck bellow. After putting my dirt dish into a washing machine, I left the room and walked towards the Sports Section. My feet were facing the glossy metal floor, painted like stone bricks, while my mind was facing loads of weird thoughts. On the left from me B-laboratories were located, and on the right I could see coal black and white dotted space through a long and wide line of thick glass. From time to time I had to greet my father's colleagues, dressed up in white lab coats. Everyone was as always in a hurry. Running hither and thither, throwing science words to each other, exchanging PPC data. PPC is a small computer with huge efficiency for its size. It had been in use for about ten years already and it had replaced all the paperwork, scientists used to do before. The name of it can be decrypted as "Pocket Personal Computer". Eighty per cent of the world's population which is about ten billion people nowadays has a PPC. Not for their work only. This gadget is an ultimate entertainment machine. It can do everything, we used to buy a number of devices for. Everyone knew me, 'cause I was one of five kids on the board. All of them had no one to stay with on Earth. That is why we are all here.
***** As soon as my father got the Nobel Prize in the field of botany, he was hired by NASA to take part in some project, connected with constructing green areas on Mars. My folk signed a contract, according to which he had to move to one of the exploratory stations, located on the planet, for some time. Half a year, maybe more. Tears of happiness were running over his face while signing that contract. It had always been the dream of his life to take part in a NASA project. In his forty six he looked quite young for this age. Everyone who met my father, thought he is forty or even less. He was also quite good looking. He was alone though. After my mother's death seven years ago, he could not even think about seeing other women. And I'd really like to have a mother.
То, что я прочитал вчера - а я имею некий опыт в переводах, - пока что уровень школьного сочинения, написанного учеником средней школы.Нашей школы. И дело тут даже не в том, каков уровень мастерства автора в прозе на родном языке. Дело в том, что пока он занят правильным подбором слов и составлением предложений на инглише, он и думать не будет о худ. стороне текста, о его красоте и гладкости. Мне бы вот на родном научиться писать как следует, а тут человек решается на такие эксперименты, покорять такие вершины. Это похвально. У меня вопросы) - что из западного автор прочитал в оригинале? И пользуется ли он Гуглем-переводчиком?)Это так, ради интереса. А на самом деле - да, такие дела у меня всегда вызывают уважение к человеку. Постоянное развитие - это очень хорошо.
Гугл переводчик периодически помогает. Из западного читаю Choke by Chuck Palahniuk, Pygmy прочитал. Спасибо за поддержку) Почитав работы других участников на английском, понял что мое письмо нуждаеться в доработке в плане креативности и вкусности.
Паланик - это у нас с вами общая точка соприкосновения.У этого автора я научился тому, что иногда стоит говорить о сложном просто. Его книги, написанные, по сути, стилем бульварных романчиков, поднимают такие сложные вопросы, что кровь стынет.С помощью простых примеров, часто ужасных и мерзких,но знакомых, взятых из реальной жизни, он рассуждает о ТАКОМ, что его либо ненавидят, либо обожают. Но не остаются равнодушными. Такой реакции читателей желаю и вам)
Помоему тут есть некоторые ошибки в построении фраз, особенно в конце. Рассказ интересный, но с учётом того что я не англичанин и не могу слишком быстро читать на английском, то забываешь что было в начале, когда читаешь в конце.
Эмм, это не мой текст. Его автор GrossJoe. У него сейчас одна дуэль, но лучше связаться с ним лично. Думаю, для него это будет хороший опыт. Только лучше всего устройте дуэль по типу судейства. Чтобы у Вас было 3 или 5 судей, который неплохо разбираются в английском. Таким образом не возникнет проблем с голосованием и Вам самим будет интересно)
И всё же... Что даёт этот английский? Я понимаю, когда Шекспир использовал красочные глаголы... Он подбирал их, это был его родной язык. Вы настолько сильны в английском, что пишите именно так? Словами, которых не хватает в русском? Думаю, нет. Для вас - это просто практика в англ. грамматике
Хорошо обогощает словарный запас. Дает ощещение английского. Точнее, развивает его. Развивает умение думать на английском, а также (как ни странно) улучшает навыки письма на русском.
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